Just a last shout-out to anyone still following this feed. (I think there might be a few of you, because I haven't heard from some of you in quite some time! Or maybe you're just being quiet...) Please update your RSS feeds to the new blog site.
I'll be closing down this site in the near future.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
re-launch
I am re-launching the blog at www.uninterruptedprosperity.wordpress.com. (Yes, that's a long URL. Sorry. Hopefully it's not something you'll need to type very often.)
Update your readers and/or bookmarks. I'll keep this site up for a while so that nobody loses track of me.
Check it out!
Update your readers and/or bookmarks. I'll keep this site up for a while so that nobody loses track of me.
Check it out!
Friday, October 2, 2009
what's next
I need to remember that I have a diverse group of readers, ranging from those who know exactly what I mean about home studies, dossiers, and USCIS approval to those who are learning their first information about international adoption through me. So, if you want to know what's next, here you go!
1. Review the home study this weekend and provide any necessary corrections to the Barker Foundation (home study agency - the one that evaluates us as to our fitness to parent) on Monday. The home study is a written report about us. I haven't read ours yet but I did see that it's 17 pages long, so I imagine it is quite thorough!
2. Wide Horizons for Children (placement agency - the one who handles the Ethiopia portion of the process and actually refers us a child down the road) reviews the home study and provides any comments back to Barker. It is possible that they might suggest some minor revisions that will be necessary specific to Ethiopia. I just got an email from our social worker at WHFC who said that her comments will be done by Monday as well.
3. Barker finalizes the home study.
4. The home study goes to USCIS (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services) to be considered as part of our I-600A, our application for what is essentially pre-approval for us to bring home an internationally-adopted child. We submitted our I-600A back in July and were fingerprinted then. It looks like the Baltimore USCIS office is taking at least 6 weeks to process the form from the time of receipt of the home study, based on another local family's experience (they're still waiting from a mid-August submission). So, we'll have to sit back and wait.
5. USCIS approves our I-600A. At this point, I'm going to hope that this happens by December.
6. The approval of the I-600A goes to WHFC as the final component of our dossier. Once WHFC has that, we are officially on the list to receive a referral of a child.
7. We wait approximately 12-18 months for a referral.
8. At various times some of our paperwork and our fingerprinting may expire and we may have to repeat some steps. (But I'm not thinking about that right now!)
9. Sometime in early to mid-2011, we will receive the referral of a child. We will examine the information about the child and possibly consult with a physician who can interpret the child's medical records.
10. After accepting a referral, WHFC works on our behalf to get us through the Ethiopian court system to make the adoption legal, and to obtain the child's passport and such.
11. A few months after accepting the referral, we travel to Ethiopia to bring our child home.
This is a simplified list and I'm skipping some things, but I will continue to discuss the various steps along the way as we go through them. There's a long road ahead of us - possibly another two years long - but what is happening now is the culmination of the past six months of inspections, fingerprints, and paperwork out the you-know-what. It feels really good!
1. Review the home study this weekend and provide any necessary corrections to the Barker Foundation (home study agency - the one that evaluates us as to our fitness to parent) on Monday. The home study is a written report about us. I haven't read ours yet but I did see that it's 17 pages long, so I imagine it is quite thorough!
2. Wide Horizons for Children (placement agency - the one who handles the Ethiopia portion of the process and actually refers us a child down the road) reviews the home study and provides any comments back to Barker. It is possible that they might suggest some minor revisions that will be necessary specific to Ethiopia. I just got an email from our social worker at WHFC who said that her comments will be done by Monday as well.
3. Barker finalizes the home study.
4. The home study goes to USCIS (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services) to be considered as part of our I-600A, our application for what is essentially pre-approval for us to bring home an internationally-adopted child. We submitted our I-600A back in July and were fingerprinted then. It looks like the Baltimore USCIS office is taking at least 6 weeks to process the form from the time of receipt of the home study, based on another local family's experience (they're still waiting from a mid-August submission). So, we'll have to sit back and wait.
5. USCIS approves our I-600A. At this point, I'm going to hope that this happens by December.
6. The approval of the I-600A goes to WHFC as the final component of our dossier. Once WHFC has that, we are officially on the list to receive a referral of a child.
7. We wait approximately 12-18 months for a referral.
8. At various times some of our paperwork and our fingerprinting may expire and we may have to repeat some steps. (But I'm not thinking about that right now!)
9. Sometime in early to mid-2011, we will receive the referral of a child. We will examine the information about the child and possibly consult with a physician who can interpret the child's medical records.
10. After accepting a referral, WHFC works on our behalf to get us through the Ethiopian court system to make the adoption legal, and to obtain the child's passport and such.
11. A few months after accepting the referral, we travel to Ethiopia to bring our child home.
This is a simplified list and I'm skipping some things, but I will continue to discuss the various steps along the way as we go through them. There's a long road ahead of us - possibly another two years long - but what is happening now is the culmination of the past six months of inspections, fingerprints, and paperwork out the you-know-what. It feels really good!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
lucky #200
Wow, this is my 200th blog post!
I actually have fabulous news to share on this momentous occasion. TWO pieces of fabulous news came in today, in fact. One for each hundred posts, perhaps?
First, we received the final draft of our home study. I immediately forwarded it to our social worker at WHFC for her review, and Craig and I will review it this weekend. This is our chance to check for factual errors and to suggest any other changes. So, we are almost done with the home study - yippee!
And second, we received word from WHFC that the dossier packet we submitted last week is 100% good to go. Woohoo for the end of this paper chase! (In the interest of full disclosure, the dossier is not complete until we get USCIS approval of our I-600A (which requires the submission of our home study), but our portion is stick-a-fork-in-me DONE!)
I actually have fabulous news to share on this momentous occasion. TWO pieces of fabulous news came in today, in fact. One for each hundred posts, perhaps?
First, we received the final draft of our home study. I immediately forwarded it to our social worker at WHFC for her review, and Craig and I will review it this weekend. This is our chance to check for factual errors and to suggest any other changes. So, we are almost done with the home study - yippee!
And second, we received word from WHFC that the dossier packet we submitted last week is 100% good to go. Woohoo for the end of this paper chase! (In the interest of full disclosure, the dossier is not complete until we get USCIS approval of our I-600A (which requires the submission of our home study), but our portion is stick-a-fork-in-me DONE!)
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
choices
Yesterday we received an invitation from old friends (J&K) to attend a baseball game with them Friday night. It was a nice invitation, but I told Craig I just wasn't up for it, for the simple reason that they would have their 2-month-old and 18-month-old sons with them. I'm just not up for it right now, but I feel really bad about not going.
We attended this couple's wedding about three years ago, and since then they have had their two boys. (I guess I note this because these types of timeframes stand out to me, since we've been married for 9 years and working on child #1 for over 4 years now... but I digress.) I attended K's baby shower for their first child about two weeks after our first miscarriage two years ago. To this day I am not quite sure why I went to that shower, but I suppose I felt obligated because I had already RSVP'd - pre-miscarriage, thinking, "oh, I'll be pregnant, too, and won't that be fun at the shower to also be pregnant!" - so I went and I sat politely and quietly through it and oohed and ahhed over all of the cute little baby outfits and made guesses as to which ribbon length was the correct circumference of her baby belly and so on. At the end, after I walked out the door, I couldn't even make it to my car before I started crying. I drove around the corner (so no one would see) and bawled for about 15 minutes before I felt I could continue my drive home.
I often feel very obligated to attend things even when I know I won't have a good time. For example, I feel like I'd be a bad friend if I declined a baby shower request. Honestly, except for times like now when I'm in a down swing, I can be okay at a baby shower. There are times when I'm totally up for time with friends with their babies and small children. Actually seeing our friends usually outweighs the discomfort, since we basically don't see any of our friends with kids anymore. Holding a baby can be wonderfully therapeutic sometimes. But at other times it is painful for me. I guess the important thing for me is to recognize when I can handle it and when I can't. I need to make choices based on me and not based on what the other people will think. And I need to stop worrying about whether I'm doing the right thing. The right thing is what is right for me, not what is right for anyone else. I find thoughts like that to be pretty selfish, but maybe that's okay at times.
We only see these friends about once a year and they have not known anything about our family-building journey. I expected Craig to make up some excuse about why we couldn't go - to say that we had other plans or whatever - but he chose instead to tell them our story. He got a very nice email back from J that was understanding, respectful, and supportive. It reminded me that most friends and family members will respect our choices and know that we can't handle every situation. I need to keep that in mind the next time I'm feeling bad about one of our choices.
We attended this couple's wedding about three years ago, and since then they have had their two boys. (I guess I note this because these types of timeframes stand out to me, since we've been married for 9 years and working on child #1 for over 4 years now... but I digress.) I attended K's baby shower for their first child about two weeks after our first miscarriage two years ago. To this day I am not quite sure why I went to that shower, but I suppose I felt obligated because I had already RSVP'd - pre-miscarriage, thinking, "oh, I'll be pregnant, too, and won't that be fun at the shower to also be pregnant!" - so I went and I sat politely and quietly through it and oohed and ahhed over all of the cute little baby outfits and made guesses as to which ribbon length was the correct circumference of her baby belly and so on. At the end, after I walked out the door, I couldn't even make it to my car before I started crying. I drove around the corner (so no one would see) and bawled for about 15 minutes before I felt I could continue my drive home.
I often feel very obligated to attend things even when I know I won't have a good time. For example, I feel like I'd be a bad friend if I declined a baby shower request. Honestly, except for times like now when I'm in a down swing, I can be okay at a baby shower. There are times when I'm totally up for time with friends with their babies and small children. Actually seeing our friends usually outweighs the discomfort, since we basically don't see any of our friends with kids anymore. Holding a baby can be wonderfully therapeutic sometimes. But at other times it is painful for me. I guess the important thing for me is to recognize when I can handle it and when I can't. I need to make choices based on me and not based on what the other people will think. And I need to stop worrying about whether I'm doing the right thing. The right thing is what is right for me, not what is right for anyone else. I find thoughts like that to be pretty selfish, but maybe that's okay at times.
We only see these friends about once a year and they have not known anything about our family-building journey. I expected Craig to make up some excuse about why we couldn't go - to say that we had other plans or whatever - but he chose instead to tell them our story. He got a very nice email back from J that was understanding, respectful, and supportive. It reminded me that most friends and family members will respect our choices and know that we can't handle every situation. I need to keep that in mind the next time I'm feeling bad about one of our choices.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
positivity
Friday was my birthday. It was not a good day. I was still feeling really down, it was our due date, we didn't get our home study like we'd been promised, I got really angry about a situation I tried to mediate, I didn't hear from some family and friends I always hear from on my birthday, and at my birthday dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, I realized I had a stomach/intestinal thing going on. Let's just say that it was a LONG 15-minute walk home from the restaurant - and I needed to get home. (I felt a little iffy on the way there, but I honestly thought it was because I was hungry. All I could handle was about 5 bites of my food and 3 sips of my wine. Craig shoveled his food in and we bolted before I could even get my birthday cake.) It stunk.
I'm realizing, however, that a blog called Uninterrupted Prosperity should not all be about how bad my life is. And I know it's not good for my mental health to only focus on the negatives (even when I feel like they're weighing me down). I need to get back to thinking about what's good in my life.
So, the positive notes on my birthday were lovely flowers from Craig and lunch and a pedicure with a good friend. I'm definitely glad for those things.
Today was a pretty good day, and included the following positive things:
* My first exercise since I hurt my back three weeks ago (I had doctor's orders to limit my activity after my muscle tear) - I took a fast walk with Macy. My back is now pretty sore. We'll see how it feels tomorrow. I need to get those natural endorphins flowing again.
* Bargain shopping - For just over $200, I managed to get two pairs of shoes, two sweaters, two camisoles, and three other tops. Yay for sales, coupons, and birthday discounts.
* Quinoa-stuffed bell peppers for dinner. Yum.
* Homemade ginger snaps to put in my cute pumpkin-shaped cookie jar.
* New spiced pumpkin candles - my favorite scent, regardless of the time of year, but most appropriate for fall.
* The scale showing that I've lost 9 pounds. I'm not quite sure this is right, but, I'll take it.
There, just thinking through those things gives me a little boost!
I'm realizing, however, that a blog called Uninterrupted Prosperity should not all be about how bad my life is. And I know it's not good for my mental health to only focus on the negatives (even when I feel like they're weighing me down). I need to get back to thinking about what's good in my life.
So, the positive notes on my birthday were lovely flowers from Craig and lunch and a pedicure with a good friend. I'm definitely glad for those things.
Today was a pretty good day, and included the following positive things:
* My first exercise since I hurt my back three weeks ago (I had doctor's orders to limit my activity after my muscle tear) - I took a fast walk with Macy. My back is now pretty sore. We'll see how it feels tomorrow. I need to get those natural endorphins flowing again.
* Bargain shopping - For just over $200, I managed to get two pairs of shoes, two sweaters, two camisoles, and three other tops. Yay for sales, coupons, and birthday discounts.
* Quinoa-stuffed bell peppers for dinner. Yum.
* Homemade ginger snaps to put in my cute pumpkin-shaped cookie jar.
* New spiced pumpkin candles - my favorite scent, regardless of the time of year, but most appropriate for fall.
* The scale showing that I've lost 9 pounds. I'm not quite sure this is right, but, I'll take it.
There, just thinking through those things gives me a little boost!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
the wrath of kelly
So, as you know, we have had some recent problems with water in our basement. We resolved the problem and had new carpet installed earlier this month. Unfortunately, however, the carpet on the basement stairs was not installed properly, and we didn't notice this until after the installation crew had left because we were in a hurry to get somewhere on the day of the installation. The problem was that they only installed the padding under the carpet across the treads and not the risers as well. Since the previous carpet had padding all the way down, including along the risers, we ended up with a gap along the side of each riser where we could see where the baseboards had been cut. The lack of padding meant that the carpet thickness wasn't as much as it was before, and therefore the gap wasn't covered. It wasn't a huge problem, but it didn't look right, and since we had just paid for carpet and installation, we wanted it to be corrected. I called the next day and the company set up a time the next week to come out and correct it. The man on the phone said that they would run the padding all the way down the entire length of the stairs.
Fast-forward to the next appointment, a week later. The installation guy (the same guy who installed the carpet, mind you) agreed that it could be and should be corrected by installing the padding all the way down, including along the risers. But he needed to order new carpet, because when they pulled out the new carpet they had just installed, it would get ripped up due to staples and tacks. So it was not fixed, and the carpet was again ordered.
Today, two weeks later, was the next repair/installation day. It was the third time I had to sit home during a four-hour arrival window for the carpet installation guys. This time it was a different installation guy, and he had the new carpet, but he said he couldn't install the padding on the risers. I asked why, and he said that it wasn't done that way. He understood my problem and agreed that it didn't look right with the gaps along the edges of the risers, but said that he couldn't fix it. I explained that both on the phone and in-person, I had been told that the padding could be and would be installed that way. He continued to disagree with me. He called the company office and I talked with someone there, who also said they don't do it that way. By this point, I had explained to both of them that I had twice before been told that they could - and would - do this, and that I was yet again missing work to wait for them, and that I expected them to correct the problem. The person on the phone was not budging, so I asked for her supervisor. I got that guy on the phone and he was incredibly rude. I started off being polite and firm (I do believe in being calm, polite, and firm in any type of negotiations) but fairly quickly I got incredibly mad. What a waste of my time and energy - and what a terrible business practice for them to twice tell me they could do something and then now say they couldn't. The supervisor insisted that they couldn't fix the problem. He kept talking about how the lip on the step would be a problem, and I kept saying that there was no lip on the step. At one point I even said to the installation guy, who was next to me the whole time, "Is there a lip on this step?" and he agreed there was not. It was just a regular old 90-degree corner. At this point I started to really let them see that I was not some demure little woman who was just going to nod and smile and say, "Okay, gee, you're right, nevermind."
I then asked for this guy's supervisor. He said, "I am the supervisor, ma'am." I said, "Well, everyone has a boss. Get yours on the phone." (That felt good, by the way!) Eventually I did get to the next guy, who actually listened to what I was saying, and agreed that they could fix it. When I handed the phone back to the installation guy, I heard the uber-supervisor say, "Let's make this customer happy." THANK YOU!! Seriously, what happened to the saying about the customer always being right?
In the end, they installed the padding all the way up/down the stairs, the gaps are covered, and I am, indeed a happy customer. (Well, mostly - I'd be happier if I didn't have to go through all of that crap!) To top it all off, at one point early in this conversation I asked the installation guys if they could also reinstall the carpet that we had to pull up recently after our dehumidifier malfunctioned. Even after I was Crazy Kelly to them and on the phone, they still did this. I was going to slip them each a $20 bill for this (it wasn't what they were there to do, and it wasn't their fault that we had had to pull it back, so I did not expect them to do it for free) but after being such a raging bitch, I ended up giving them $30 each (which was all the cash I had on hand). It was well worth it to have them tack the carpet back in. If we had done it, it never would have been right.
The combination of my present fragile emotional state plus the poor handling of this situation by the carpet installation company was sort of the perfect storm here. I rarely get angry at people in situations like this. I am generally a calm, rational person (although those who only know me from reading this blog might not know that!) and I do believe in the old saying about how you catch more flies with honey than vinegar (or whatever it is). Even in my practice as an attorney, I follow that guidance because I don't think drama and nastiness gets people anywhere. Today, the wrath of Kelly was needed, however, and it got the job done.
And, by the way, it felt really good to let it all out!
Fast-forward to the next appointment, a week later. The installation guy (the same guy who installed the carpet, mind you) agreed that it could be and should be corrected by installing the padding all the way down, including along the risers. But he needed to order new carpet, because when they pulled out the new carpet they had just installed, it would get ripped up due to staples and tacks. So it was not fixed, and the carpet was again ordered.
Today, two weeks later, was the next repair/installation day. It was the third time I had to sit home during a four-hour arrival window for the carpet installation guys. This time it was a different installation guy, and he had the new carpet, but he said he couldn't install the padding on the risers. I asked why, and he said that it wasn't done that way. He understood my problem and agreed that it didn't look right with the gaps along the edges of the risers, but said that he couldn't fix it. I explained that both on the phone and in-person, I had been told that the padding could be and would be installed that way. He continued to disagree with me. He called the company office and I talked with someone there, who also said they don't do it that way. By this point, I had explained to both of them that I had twice before been told that they could - and would - do this, and that I was yet again missing work to wait for them, and that I expected them to correct the problem. The person on the phone was not budging, so I asked for her supervisor. I got that guy on the phone and he was incredibly rude. I started off being polite and firm (I do believe in being calm, polite, and firm in any type of negotiations) but fairly quickly I got incredibly mad. What a waste of my time and energy - and what a terrible business practice for them to twice tell me they could do something and then now say they couldn't. The supervisor insisted that they couldn't fix the problem. He kept talking about how the lip on the step would be a problem, and I kept saying that there was no lip on the step. At one point I even said to the installation guy, who was next to me the whole time, "Is there a lip on this step?" and he agreed there was not. It was just a regular old 90-degree corner. At this point I started to really let them see that I was not some demure little woman who was just going to nod and smile and say, "Okay, gee, you're right, nevermind."
I then asked for this guy's supervisor. He said, "I am the supervisor, ma'am." I said, "Well, everyone has a boss. Get yours on the phone." (That felt good, by the way!) Eventually I did get to the next guy, who actually listened to what I was saying, and agreed that they could fix it. When I handed the phone back to the installation guy, I heard the uber-supervisor say, "Let's make this customer happy." THANK YOU!! Seriously, what happened to the saying about the customer always being right?
In the end, they installed the padding all the way up/down the stairs, the gaps are covered, and I am, indeed a happy customer. (Well, mostly - I'd be happier if I didn't have to go through all of that crap!) To top it all off, at one point early in this conversation I asked the installation guys if they could also reinstall the carpet that we had to pull up recently after our dehumidifier malfunctioned. Even after I was Crazy Kelly to them and on the phone, they still did this. I was going to slip them each a $20 bill for this (it wasn't what they were there to do, and it wasn't their fault that we had had to pull it back, so I did not expect them to do it for free) but after being such a raging bitch, I ended up giving them $30 each (which was all the cash I had on hand). It was well worth it to have them tack the carpet back in. If we had done it, it never would have been right.
The combination of my present fragile emotional state plus the poor handling of this situation by the carpet installation company was sort of the perfect storm here. I rarely get angry at people in situations like this. I am generally a calm, rational person (although those who only know me from reading this blog might not know that!) and I do believe in the old saying about how you catch more flies with honey than vinegar (or whatever it is). Even in my practice as an attorney, I follow that guidance because I don't think drama and nastiness gets people anywhere. Today, the wrath of Kelly was needed, however, and it got the job done.
And, by the way, it felt really good to let it all out!
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